Life is a Game
(2 minute read)
Games are loosely defined as a structure having: goals, rules, feedback, and voluntary participation. Examples: Baseball? Yes. League of Legends? Yep.
Friendship? Well, there are: 1) Goals– Make good memories and have each other’s back. 2) Rules– Be honest and not too selfish. 3) Feedback– Is the other person responding to you the way you want? And it’s 4) Voluntary– I can choose to play with you, someone else, or not at all, and with various mindsets (“I’m here to exploit you” vs. “I’m here to support you”). Friendship is a game, with various skill levels and ways to improve.
Life is made up of a bunch of diverse games without a lot in common. Many skills don’t transfer from one game to the next. You can’t take your ultimate combo from League of Legends to become a great second baseman. But is there anything that does transfer? Can we find meta-skills that help us from game to game? We can, and these meta-skills amount to wisdom.
Getting better at life
Freshman year I struggled playing the new life game of college. I failed to make friends because I felt these new people were lacking compared to my people back home. I clung to computer games in my room late at night. One day I got in my wetsuit in an attempt to surf, but lost all my energy and sat on the beach to cry. I needed answers and in my desperation I thought, “If I can win at video games, why can’t I win in different areas of my life?”
I reflected on a winning formula, the same improvement principles that seemed to work for me in every video game: (1) Take responsibility for individual and team goals, (2) Set rules in the form of habits and practice routines, (3) gather feedback from better players and coaches, and (4) voluntarily choose a mindset, how to play, and who to play with.
I gave it a try with absolutely nothing to lose. I had to improve; both in my ability to make friends (I had none), and in my understanding of myself (I had no idea what the point of college was).
(1) I set goals. I took responsibility in defining where I wanted to be in 3 years. I realized nobody else was going to make my life worth living. My parents weren’t going to tell me what to major in, what path to take, or what friends to make.
(2) I set rules. Every morning I made my bed, wrote 3 things I was grateful for, and 3 things I could accomplish that day. These habits gave me positive momentum.
(3) I looked for feedback. I talked to people living the life I wanted and asked for advice. I read self-improvement books. I asked old friends to challenge me to introduce myself to strangers.
(4) I voluntarily chose games that fit my personality and interests and let go of others. I sought out entrepreneurial activities on campus. I chose a mindset of confidence, mindfulness, humility, and gratitude. I let go of thinking I’d never get close to my new friends.
Since then, I’ve used this wisdom to level up in many life games. And I’ve completely given up video games.